The Shadow of Your Smile
by Lucy Morningstar
Summary: Kagome realizes her husband is not the man whom she thought he is.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Inuyasha is Rumiko Takahashi's and its respective owners'. **:(**

**[UPDATE: I had to pump in some more meat into this anorexic first chapter, after the admin pointed it out (it was too short). I was like, oh. How embarrassing. Ah, well.]**

[A/N: I don't know whether to call this a love story or not. Heh. As usual, not your place if you're lookin' for some sweeping romance or epic adventure. Happy reading and please review.]

Summary: Kagome realizes her husband is not the man whom she thought he is.

**The Shadow of Your Smile**

**Chapter One**

One night Kagome was rudely awakened by what sounded like a dog barking outside the house. In her groggy state of mind as she tried to grasp consciousness, she slowly wondered whose dog it belonged to. As far as she knew none of her neighbours here kept any dogs, although there were several cats and a chinchilla to recall.

Kagome did not move, instead listened intently in the darkness. The noise was getting incessant. It was as if the dog was barking solely for them, calling for their attention. The more she thought about it, the more uncomfortable she felt. It was like a bad omen, or a premonition.

Her husband roused in bed beside her. She could hear him as he sat up, reached for his cigarettes on the side drawer and lit a stick. So he heard it too, the dog. Ah, who is she kidding-the whole neighbourhood could probably hear it. Although her back was to her husband, she could just picture how he looked like then, resting against the headboard and taking long slow drags from his cigarette, as wisps of smoke clouded and swirled above. It was as if the smoke were the by-products of his thoughts channelling through his head, expelling out from his system in a material state.

After several minutes or so, Kagome finally turned in bed. She stared at her husband over her shoulder and squinted. His hand of which the cigarette nestled between his fingers, was shaking as it moved towards his lips.

"Dear," she said. "Are you alright?"

The taut expression on his face relaxed as his eyes slided to hers. "Yes?" Then as if like an afterthought, "Yes, I'm alright. Why do you ask?"

"You're shaking." Kagome answered, this time sitting up to hold her husband's shoulder. "You sure you're okay?" She placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature.

He exhaled a small smile, smoke escaping from his lips.

"I'm alright. You should go back to sleep."

"Did the dog wake you up? It's creating a din, isn't it?" Kagome continued.

"Yes it is. It's a very noisy dog." He took another drag of his cigarette and quickly puffed. "I'm sure it'll go away soon."

"But it's being such a pest. Can't you at least take a look at it?"

Her husband seemed to sigh as he pulled himself off the bed. He stood up and walked to the windows, drawing the curtains close.

The sounds from the dog were muffled, but only slightly.

"Let's not worry about it," he said at length.

Kagome resumed her earlier position in bed, however the frown on her face still intact. Her husband crept back in, extinguishing his cigarette first on the ashtray that sat on the side drawer, before snuggling beside her. She felt as his hand reach over to smoothen her hair, then rubbed her shoulders warmly. As if to reassure her everything was alright.

She stared at the wall in front of her as her husband pressed his nose against her neck and held her tight. It had been a long time since he held her that way. She could smell the faint tobacco from his hand, the familiar light scent of his sweat. "Go to sleep," he had said. For some reason, it felt like he was talking more to himself.

Kagome closed her eyes and tried to, pushing the dog and the awful noise off her mind, but couldn't, instead only pulled it in closer to entwine with her broken yet connected thoughts. Lulled by her husband's warmth, she slowly descended to sleep.

The dog continued to bark.

It was 4:03AM when she woke up. Her face creased with tiredness, confusion then wonderment, as she peered at the wall clock. She vaguely remembered she had awoken a few hours ago during the night. Now why was that?

Dragging her body out of bed, Kagome trudged to the toilet to relieve herself. That was nothing much to exert-just a short trickle. After she was done she washed her hands at the sink, and squinted at her reflection on the mirror. _Not bad_, she thought. She pinched her nose, rubbed it, and played with it.

_Not bad at all._

It was during the middle of that moment that Kagome suddenly remembered why she had woken up at the first time.

She stopped to listen. The barking had ceased, replaced by the silence and serenity that now reigned the night. At least that was how it was inside the toilet. Then something odd occurred to her. Striding out, she stopped only until she reached the foot of her bed.

Her husband was gone, nowhere to be seen.

[A/N: Voila! A short **(revised)** first chapter. Good. I hate reading long stories. This is to be expected from an author who has a short-attention span.

Jokes aside, the title of the story is taken from 70's pop idol Bobby Vinton's song, which will more or less make sense in later chapters. **:)**]


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: Did some mini adjustments to the first chapter; now off to the second one.] **

**Chapter Two**

Kagome looked around, making sure he really wasn't in the bedroom. She switched on the lights and called his name. No answer. Then she went out and climbed down the stairs. Of course, she didn't feel panic nor was she alarmed. It was not like he was a baby who had gone missing in the night. Kagome only wondered where he had went to, that was all. Maybe he was in the living room watching TV, or checking out the kitchen for some late-night grub. Worse to worst, he could have gone out to the convenience store nearby to grab a beer. Kagome knew there wasn't a real need to look for him. It could be that because she had just woken up, her head was still unable to think fully straight, and something inside her just wanted to see him, to convince herself that he was still alive and safe.

The living room was dark, as the kitchen and the whole floor was. Kagome noticed that the entrance door was open and was slightly upset. _Fancy leaving the door open at 4am in the morning! Just who is he trying to invite?_

She walked to the door and looked outside hoping he was just out there, taking some fresh air.

The air was cold and still, and the sky was darker than she imagined it to be, seeing it would only be a few hours before dawn. She could already see her husband standing outside by the front gate, straight and unmoving, as if he was watching_ something_ beyond there.

Kagome took a step forward to get a better view. There was a big dog sitting in front of him at the other side of the gate. She could hear whispers, as though a conversation was taking place. She tried listening to the low voices intently. There was no doubt. Her husband was talking to the dog. It had to be the same one-the one which had been barking all night before. It was bigger than she expected. Had the dog stopped because her husband had appeared before it? For how long had they stood there?

She could detect two voices-one she could recognize plainly as his own, and the other sounded more unclear, rugged and gutteral, as if the person's throat was lined with sandpaper.

"Burma is now Vietnam. Siam is now Thailand." The sandpaper voice said.

"It's not Vietnam," replied her husband's voice calmly. "It's Myanmar."

"Burma is now Myanmar. Siam is now Thailand," the sandpaper voice corrected itself. He sounded as if he was reading from a school textbook.

Kagome looked at the dog. It seated itself quietly, its back upright and its long tail curled neatly beside its legs. It looked more like a wolf than anything else, its grey coat almost camouflaging against the night. Its head was tilted upwards to her husband, with just the gate separating them, watching him in rapt attention. Its eyes reflected off the moonlight, casting them in eerie bright light.

It took her awhile to realize that the sandpaper voice was coming from the animal.

"I'm sorry, I'm not too good with geography," said the dog again, or at least what she thought it said.

"Then practise," replied her husband simply. "Practice makes perfect. And yet they say nothing is so."

"Burma is now Vietnam. Siam is now Thailand," repeated the dog. "But what does it matter? You must come back, come back, come back."

Thinking that she heard enough, Kagome lurched backwards and turned back into the house. She ran up the stairs and threw herself into the bed. Wrapping the blanket around her, she covered her head with the pillow tightly, but could still hear the words from the dog, scratching into her ears in its unrefined rough quality. She wanted to scream it out.

_"But what does it matter? You must come back, come back, come back."_

When she opened her eyes, the bedroom was flooded with morning sunlight. Her husband had already left for work. She thought about the disturbing nightmare she had last night. It was ridiculous, and yet felt too real. And as much as she tried to, she couldn't remember a single word from the strange conversation.

Kagome spent the whole day doing nothing much as usual, watching drama re-runs on TV and listening to the radio, and cutting houseware coupons from the daily newspaper to paste on the refrigerator.

There was a nice rice cooker on sale, one that she would really love to buy.

_Maybe once he's home_, Kagome thought, _I'll talk to him about that rice cooker._

**[A/N: End of Chapter Two. I know some people are going bonkers with questions here, and with all due respect, I am not going to answer any of them. It's just the way it is. And I know my answer doesn't help (laughs). Oh yeah, this **_**is**_** SessKag by the way, just not...normal.**

**Gee, if only there was a genre for "surrealism"...well, that would be the day. Sigh.]**


	3. Chapter 3

**[A/N: I don't think Japanese karaoke pubs would have that song in their list...]**

**Chapter Three**

Kagome wondered the first time she'd met him. It was during the class reunion, the graduating class of Kagome's junior high school. Now, that had been ten years ago. For all her life Kagome could not remember ever having him as her classmate, not even when her old friends brought the yearbook to share their class photos. Yet he was there, in all the photos, standing at the back with the other boys as if he was rightfully a part of it, and naturally so. There was nothing wrong with it. He had been a classmate of Kagome, just that she could not remember.

They chose to hold their reunion in a well-known karaoke pub in Roppongi. To drink, sing and reminiscence, that was their objective. Only Hojou was the one who couldn't make it. She had heard through the grapevine that his mother had recently fallen on the stairs, and got her leg broken.

Her friends were all different now. Some were married, some held high-paying jobs, and one even had plastic surgery done on his chin.

It was not until it was his turn to sing, that Kagome really paid any attention to him. It could not be helped. He had a nondescript face with no spectacular features whatsoever and his clothes were of uninteresting taste. His true personality could not be defined. He was the kind of person that submerged into and with the background, someone whose existence is not even registered into your head until he comes to talk to you. In short, there was nothing memorable about him.

He sung Bobby Vinton's _The Shadow of Your Smile_. Having heard the song herself in her father's records when she was a lot younger, Kagome had to admit she was surprised someone else her age knew the song, or knew how to sing it even.

Petrified at her seat she watched the man sing, feeling awe and trepidation at the same time, and her ears suddenly became more sensitive, capturing his portrayed melody; the reverberations in his voice, the way his tone dipped and rose seamlessly, the mood he had wrapped around himself and, the obvious relish he was having. It was perfect. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. Looking at the glass of beer in her hands, Kagome closed her eyes and flushed.

"That was wonderful," she said when he sat next to her.

"Thank you, Higurashi. Maybe it's because it's the only song I know how to sing."

They both laughed. The man was polite in his speech, most likely out of habit, and his silence was attentive.

"But isn't it odd," Kagome said again, "I really can't remember you from our class at all."

"Well, there's nothing I can say to that," he replied, "except that I've always been there."

They exchanged numbers. It took Kagome several weeks to ponder if she should call him. At last she did, asking him to her house for dinner, and using her brother's birthday as an excuse.

"I would love to come," he answered simply.

The man came with a present for Souta and had dinner with her family as requested. It was a normal affair, aided by the usual conversations of his background and whereabouts. His family lived overseas, he lived here alone in his parents' house and he worked as a curator in an arts museum somewhere in Tokyo. "An utmost decent living," he had concluded. He was also single, and been so for a long time.

When they were done with dinner however, he insisted that he help clear the table. It was nothing to him, he said, and he did not want to impose on their hospitality. Kagome ran into the kitchen after him, feeling partly embarrassed, but stopped when he turned on the sink tap. The water cascaded loudly onto the plates, and he, standing there with his sleeves already rolled up, merely looked down to watch. Just like how he had sang in the karaoke pub back then, without explanation or rationality, and like a flash of lightning, Kagome was instantly struck by that sight of him. Never had the slight curve of a man's back, or the exposed flesh of his arms affected her greatly, and it was there, at the very spot by the refrigerator, that she made a decision she would more or less regret in the future.

"Marry me," she said to him, when they were alone outside and he was getting ready to leave.

The man looked at her intently in the eye, expressionless. It took him a long while before he finally answered.

"Are you sure?" It was all he said.

"I made up my mind," Kagome answered firmly, her eyes dead with conviction. "I want to be with you."

He glanced away and stared at the concrete ground for some time, before lighting up a cigarette.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I don't even want to think about it. I just want to catch you."

"Catch me?"

"Yes that's right. The way it feels to me, you're like a butterfly who's suddenly come flitting into my garden. I want to take the butterfly net and catch you before it's too late."

He looked at her and smiled. Smoke rushed out from between his lips. "What an analogy," he said, and Kagome blushed.

"So, flitting into your garden, huh. I have to say, you're a really strange woman. But you do know that once I give my answer, there is no going back?"

"Exactly," Kagome said with a smile. "I don't want to go back."

They got married barely three months after that. Facing no objection from her family, Kagome then moved into his house which was somewhere near the northern district. As usual he continued with his job as a museum curator, while she waited on him at home as a housewife. As newlyweds they led a simple blissful life together, without nary a sigh or complaint. Their new lives ran efficiently like clockwork. They even went to Rome for their honeymoon. He was good to her just as she was sweet to him. They were content. It was perfect at times, in fact so perfect that it constantly worried her. _Is this the correct decision I made? Was it too hasty? Will I suffer in the future?_

But she knew, it was deep inside her, the answer to all her questions. It didn't matter what will happen. She could feel it under her skin, that this "perfection" was just a temporary stage in her new life. She had been a greedy little girl, the girl who wanted everything for herself, and in the end lost everything. Now, she will get nothing that she deserved. She will spend the rest of her days without coveting, with a man she had never dreamed of, and knew nothing of. She will have to accept and embrace everything that came through. This was the punishment she had chosen for herself.

A normal life without fairytales or fantasies. Yes, that would suit her.

**[A/N: This chapter explores the decisions that suggest Kagome's diminished hope in life, and the great disappointments she might have experienced in the past.**

**We also discover that her husband loves to sing and wash plates (grins). Still doesn't actually shed any light on who he is though. Ah, but this isn't a guessing game, folks. :) ]**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four : The Butterfly**

At two in the afternoon she received a call from her husband. Kagome was cutting a pumpkin into half when the phone rang.

"Hello dear," she answered immediately the moment the receiver met her lips.

"Hello. I smell something," said her husband in a serious voice.

Kagome giggled. "As if you know."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, I went to the nearby bookstore yesterday. I suddenly felt like cooking something new, experiment a bit."

"Alright. So what did you buy?"

"Some American recipes for pastries. But I'm not baking anything today. I'm just making some pumpkin soup, that's all."

"I never had pumpkin soup before. Does it taste nice?"

"I don't know honestly."

"Well, it doesn't matter. Actually I have something important to talk to you about when I get home later. In fact," he paused, "I just left my employer's office as we speak. Do you want to guess why?"

Kagome pursed her lips. She did not like guessing games, and she knew her husband was not good in them either.

"I prefer you get home and talk about it. Is that okay?"

"Come Kagome, bear with me for awhile."

"Did you get a promotion?" she asked tentatively.

Her husband laughed at the other side of the line. "No, no. What would I do with a promotion?"

There was something wrong with the way he laughed. Kagome had always thought his laugh sounded strange anyway, like a kind of yelp.

"It's nothing like that," he continued. "Not even close. But again it doesn't matter. I will explain everything to you once I get home."

"Okay dear. What time will you get back?"

"As usual. Around seven o'clock."

Kagome then said goodbye to her husband. She hung up the phone, returned to the kitchen and continued cutting the pumpkin into many pieces.

At three she was almost done and was left with tidying up the kitchen. The pumpkin soup tasted better than she expected, she noted with a smile, and yet she was not sure if that was how it was supposed to taste. Like her husband, Kagome never had pumpkin soup before.

She threw the peelings away in the trash and wiped the counter. She washed the dirty utensils and tasted yesterday's curry in the pot, which she had reheated. She checked the rice. Then, as if something stirred her memory, Kagome glanced at the refrigerator and walked to it. On the door itself were at least fifty newspaper coupons and advertisements pasted with tape neatly side by side, covering more than half the door. From far it would have probably looked like a collage. Most of them were in black and white print; a few in colour. And none of them were more than three months old.

In the most bottom right-hand corner a small, almost missable advertisement was attached.

It was for a rice cooker, in sale at 70% discount.

Kagome peered at it for a long time. Then she rubbed at one edge of the advertisement, which had curled outwards.

"So that is the pumpkin soup?" Her husband inquired, after he had returned from work and they were seated at the dinner table. "Well I sure hope it's edible."

"Just eat it," she said. Kagome moistened her lips and watched her husband eventually sip his soup, slowly. "Is it good?"

"Mm-hm."

"Why don't you eat it with the bread?" she asked again. "You should eat it with the bread."

Her husband gave her a look and smiled at her patiently. "Don't worry, I will."

Kagome bowed her head and grinned in embarrassment. "Sorry. Oh. Speaking of which, you said you had something to talk about?"

"That's true," replied her husband, dipping his bread in the soup as she suggested. "Well it's about the dog last night."

"The dog?"

"Yes the dog. The one which couldn't stop barking last night. Do you remember?"

"Oh, that dog. Well what about it?"

"So what exactly did you remember, Kagome?"

"Well..." Kagome scratched her head and tried to recollect the incident. The strange thing was the harder she tried, the more cloudy and unreachable the memories became. It was as if she was trying to make a long-distance call in the middle of a desert.

"Well?" Her husband continued to look at her, chewing his bread slowly.

"I.."

"You can't remember, can't you?"

"No, I guess not. But what does it have to do with what happened at work?"

"That's because it's all connected, Kagome. A matter of cause and effect actually." He stopped to swallow his food, and wiped his mouth with a piece of serviette. "This is what happened: A dog was barking outside our house last night persistently. You awoke and asked me to take a look, but instead I told you to go back to sleep. Later that night you woke up again. I was not beside you. You were worried so you went downstairs, and that is where you saw me outside with the dog at the gate.

"When you took a closer look, you realized we were talking to each other. To be exact we were reciting the old names of countries. But honestly, it was just a front. We were talking about something entirely else before you came. I did not want you to know what we were really talking about. I did not want to scare you. The dog did not get it, I guess. It said point blank in front of you that I had to come back. When you heard this, you immediately turned heel and rushed back into the house. Do you remember all of this, Kagome?"

Kagome's breathing turned rapid as the past events of last night suddenly caught up with her. How could she forget? That large dog and its inhuman sandpaper voice.

"That was no ordinary dog," her husband spoke again. "It came from the other side."

Kagome took a while to digest those two words. _Other side? _they echoed in her head. She looked at her husband for an explanation but he appeared composed as ever, as though he had said nothing.

"So why did you leave your employer's office this afternoon?" Kagome asked him instead, her voice suddenly straining in her throat.

"You must understand that what happened last night was very important. I've been called _to come back_. I have no idea how exactly the dog came here, but he has told me he is not leaving until I come with him. There is a war on the other side. My presence is required and I have made my mind up."

_Other side_, he had said it again. Her husband stopped to pull a Marlboro pack from his trousers. He lit a stick and inhaled it deeply for several seconds. "Now that I'm leaving, I don't have to go to work any more. That's why I've tendered my resignation at my workplace today."

It was exactly eight pm sharp then. Kagome watched as the smoke from his stick billowed and took shape before her, almost like a living thing, and her eyes searched for anything she could recognize in it. And then she saw something-moving, growing, forming, and _alive. _It looked like a butterfly.

Outside behind the iron gate, the dog waited patiently, and loyally. _This is it for you_, he spoke, in his usual ear-scratching gravelly voice. _This is where _y_our beginning starts._

**[A/N: The butterfly is a symbol of beginning.**

**Constructive reviews are much appreciated, and thank you again for reading! :)]**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and its respective owners. :(

**A/N: Man, I've been wanting to finish this story since forever, and though I had an inkling of how the ending would go about, I had a problem putting it down for words. I even thought of er, **_**scrapping**_** it, but I thought, cmon, stop being a commitment-phobic and just finish it! Anyway, here I am, and thank you for reading this far! ^^**

**Chapter Five : The Shadow of Your Smile**

There was another surprise, he said, leading her to the living room. There was a large box in a plastic bag on the table, and Kagome walked slowly to it, almost cautiously. She stared at it quietly for awhile before finally removing the plastic. Running her hands smoothly over the surface of the box, she breathed in the smell of new cardboard, and then opened it. It was the rice cooker, the one she had always wanted, dreamed of.

Kagome turned backed to her husband who had been watching, and smiled.

It drizzled that night. In bed Kagome lightly stroked her husband's naked back, covered in perspiration, a small testament to their early activity. The warmth that radiated from his body amazed her. A living, breathing human, with a heart inside that pumped blood, _full of life_. It amazed her, and frightened her a little bit at the same time.

_A long, long time ago, I fell in love for the first time._

"How could have this happen?" she whispered to him, and then disliking how her voice had came out. "I thought it was over. It was supposed to be over."

"I made a promise to him I had to keep if I lived long enough. It was such a long time ago. But the gods, they never forget."

_I thought I would never be able to forget him._

"I still find it hard to believe," she whispered again, smiling to herself.

"The gods are cruel. They like to play tricks. Regardless of which, I have been watching you all this time."

Kagome closed her eyes and sighed. She knew what he was talking about. Their fates were entwined, twisted together like gnarled branches. It was sooner or later that they reached to a point. After all, it was her who had came to him then, pleading, begging, wasn't it?

How ironic was life. All she ever wanted was to forget, and now he had made her remember everything.

They slept soundly that night but at around 3am Kagome awoke again. She had almost expected to get jolted by the sound of the dog barking, but nothing was amiss. It was quiet and peaceful. The rain had stopped but the air still felt cold.

Her husband shifted, facing her. Kagome turned and stared at his sleeping face. She thought she saw something, like a shadow that had ghosted over his face, but perhaps it was just a trick of the eye. She studied the anatomy of his face; the position of his eyes, the distance between his nose and his lips, the shape of his ears. She tried to remember the first impression she had gotten when she saw him for the first time at the karaoke bar. She swore to herself she had never seen him before.

She faced back the ceiling and closed her eyes. This time she tried to remembered _him_ tried to visualize how he had looked then at that time, a long time ago. Then she thought of her first love, her old friends and all the things they did together. And for some reason, no matter how hard she tried, she could not remember their faces.

~o.0.o~

"_The shadow of your smile...when you are gone_," he was singing as he wore his coat. He looked happy and pleased, as if he was dressing up for a party. Kagome watched from the edge of the bed, biting her fingers.

"..w_ill colour all my dreams and light the dawn..."_

"How could you be singing at a time like this?" she asked at last, unable to tolerate it anymore. "You're leaving me and you're singing."

Her husband turned to her and smiled. She hated the way he smiled sometimes, that gentle, amused smile. It was a smile one would give when dealing with children, she thought.

"I'm going to come back for you," he replied simply. "I never said I was going to leave you."

"If you weren't, you wouldn't have quit your job, would you? Tell me the truth—you're happy that you're getting called back, aren't you? So you can go back to your old world and leave me. You never wanted to be with me in the first place. You were just doing the gods' duty."

"Hush, Kagome," he said, sitting down beside her on the bed. He held her head against his shoulder, and the moment he touched her she broke down and started sobbing.

Embracing her, he stroked her hair softly and lovingly. "I'm not going to leave you, I promise," he reassured. 

Kagome said nothing, her tears robbing her of words. She did not want to think of it, but it was the truth: She was scared of being left alone. People almost never left her, it was she who left. Now she wasn't sure if she could handle it the other way round.

_Look into my eyes, my love, and see_

_All the lovely things you are to me_

Kagome watched from the window of the bedroom, as her husband met with the

dog waiting outside faithfully at the gate. They started walking out together down the road, a dog and his presumed master, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Kagome wondered where they were going and how. She stood there as they headed straight into the faraway distance until she couldn't see anything anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and its respective owners. :(**

**A/N: **Heya, I know you guys haven't heard from me for a long time. Was busy with uh, stuff. Anyway this is my last instalment for The Shadow of Your Smile. Read it and you know you want to review it. Haha. =)

**Chapter Six: The End**

She managed to sleep, and dreamt of her husband. He looked like someone else and his voice was different, but in dreams such things are perceived as the way they are supposed to be. This man, or rather her dream husband, would use archaic terms in his speech and and when Kagome talked to him he would tilt his head to the right, as if studying a creature.

They were standing in a strange place where the land was vast and the ground was barren with cracks beneath their feet. There were no other signs of life around them, and the horizon was clear. There was no wind and the only sounds came from them. It was as if they had landed in some faraway place on earth unknown to mankind.

"This is where it all ended," her dream husband said, but his lips did not move when he spoke, yet Kagome clould clearly hear his words in her ears. "That's where you were standing then, at that very spot."

Kagome looked down, and felt something faint and warm around her feet. They felt like remnants of a memory, familiar stirrings that called to a certain place in her heart.

"I really don't remember all of this," she said.

Her dream husband smiled. He smiled like a judge in a courtroom who had heard something funny. A smile completely different from the one she knew, but seemingly perfect for his dream face.

"Of course you don't. You're trying to remember something that happened five hundred years ago."

He raised his arm, white silk slipping against his skin and he was suddenly standing before her, his face so bright it almost blinded her. His fingers grazed lightly on her stomach and she could feel the cold seeping in through her clothes, entering her body. She closed her eyes, feeling the strange sensation that was spreading through her, and tried to remember, and understand what exactly happened five hundred years ago. She realized she was slowly losing her memory, and the man before her was the only person who knew her past. And then she suddenly wondered who he was.

_"I will be remembering...the shadow of your smile..." _he sang, where he had left off.

She woke up with a start. A few hours seemed to have passed since the sunrise. An inexplicable compulsion filled her, and Kagome ran downstairs and out of the house. At the other side of the gate she saw something she was expecting dreadfully.

It was the dog. It had came back but it was alone.

Without a word, Kagome unlocked the gate and let it in.

She looked back at the dog, now biting through the piece of meat on the kitchen floor ravenously. The meat was still frozen, fresh from the freezer, but the dog did not seem to mind as if it had been starving for days and was desperate. Kagome watched intently for nearly a minute before she took a few steps backward to the sink, carefully taking a chopper out.

She stood behind the animal, making sure it could not see her, then swung down the chopper as hard as she could. The dog was too engrossed in getting a bite of the morsel to notice the blade heading for its neck. The steel cut through the fur and skin, causing a squelching sound to be heard. A spray of blood spurted on Kagome's face and she blinked momentarily. Immediately the dog lashed back at her, barking and then whining, and it struggled to get the stuck chopper off its neck.

Scared that the dog was going to attack her in self-defense, Kagome quickly ran inside the toilet and locked herself inside. She heard the dog yelping in pain, its paws scratching against the tiled floor. Kagome waited behind the toilet door, biting her lower lip. At last when she heard no other sound coming from outside, she quietly escaped and stole a peek at the dog.

The dog was dead. The blade was still stuck in its neck, and a pool of blood was steadily forming around its body. Some parts of its gray coat had changed into a wet dark brown, sopping with its blood. Kagome bent down to see if she had really killed it. Using a bit of effort, she yanked out the chopper, and placed it back inside the sink.

Kagome washed her hands, then took out a large black garbage bag from the lower cabinet to dispose of the dog. The dog was more heavy than she expected, and when she tied and placed the bag outside the gate for the garbage truck, she wondered if they were ever going to discover its contents and have the police charge her for animal abuse.

A few days passed and nothing happended. Kagome stood in front of the refrigerator door, staring at her advertisement collage, and in particular the advertisement for the rice cooker.

She remembered the dream she had a few days ago, and the one she had had last night. She knew her husband could no longer return back to her world now, as much as he tried to. The medium had been destroyed and by her nevertheless. _Maybe this is for my own good_, she told herself. _This is for your own good, Kagome, and for him too. You have had enough of this. It's time to let everything go._

Her eyes watering, Kagome reached for the advertisement and tore it off the surface.

**The End**

**A/N: Did I just complete this story? Yes I did. I just accomplished something I thought I could never do. .**

I'm aware this is not the best ending for the readers here but I am not a fan of happy endings and I have no excuse for it. Some of you guys will be like _"What! Why did she kill the dog?"_ or _"Her poor husband! Doesn't she love him?"_ When I set out to write this story, this is how I imagined it to end. Anyway, please review and give me your opinion! I would love to hear from you guys. =)

Now what's left pending is my other fanfic Good Morning Sensei...*sighs*


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